He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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