dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
