Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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