You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
