Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
