Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
