highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
