How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
