A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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