Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
