You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize