the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
