You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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