I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize