i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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