dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
honey bunches of taint.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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