Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I need a beard to bite.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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