On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize