He disabled his match.com account in front of me
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
