i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
