rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
