Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
