its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
