Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
