i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
