Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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