Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
