How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
