Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize