New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize