Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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