I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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