At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
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