shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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