That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
