HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
