Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
