the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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