you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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