New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
