There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
