he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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