the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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