i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
This is my gift to your gina
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
