wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
