At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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