This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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