I wannas sexs uuuuu
dude i'm inner monologue high
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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