i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
