i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
