Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
