HIV tests are more positive than that guy
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Randomize
