...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
