Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
