found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
