considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
