I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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