So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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