seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
