I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
