he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
