Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
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