Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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