I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
