I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You need Xanax blowdarts
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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