I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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