I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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