just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
