I wish I only lived at night.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
