Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm having to shit out rocks
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
